Father
If Bella needed me to be strong, to protect her, to speak on her behalf, to be her father... there would be no hesitation on my part. I would take on any fear for her, head on... with no second thought or breath.
The question is, why can't I do that for myself?
Why? Well, it seems the only likely answer could be that I don't love myself. Or there's something in me that won't let me take care of myself, first. The truth is, I can be nothing to Bella if I don't take good care of myself first. That should be my first priority, always.
Bella needs me well. I need myself well. So I should be focusing a lot of my energy on myself, to gain that strength.
I feel right now like I'm losing my strength, and I simply won't allow that. I am going to gather my strength and momentum to get things right, the way that I would like them.
While things that happened to me may seem horrible, in reality... things could be very worse. I need to be thankful for the things I have in my life. A beautiful daughter, a beautiful gf, a beautiful home, people who love and respect me in my life.
The boy is still there, and of course he has issues. But I am here to make that all well now. I am in control. This is my life. This is my mind. These are my choices of what I choose to feel. Regardless of home much it seems I'm not in control, I can change it. I can take control if I truly believe in myself.
I will write about him as well.
The question is, why can't I do that for myself?
Why? Well, it seems the only likely answer could be that I don't love myself. Or there's something in me that won't let me take care of myself, first. The truth is, I can be nothing to Bella if I don't take good care of myself first. That should be my first priority, always.
Bella needs me well. I need myself well. So I should be focusing a lot of my energy on myself, to gain that strength.
I feel right now like I'm losing my strength, and I simply won't allow that. I am going to gather my strength and momentum to get things right, the way that I would like them.
While things that happened to me may seem horrible, in reality... things could be very worse. I need to be thankful for the things I have in my life. A beautiful daughter, a beautiful gf, a beautiful home, people who love and respect me in my life.
The boy is still there, and of course he has issues. But I am here to make that all well now. I am in control. This is my life. This is my mind. These are my choices of what I choose to feel. Regardless of home much it seems I'm not in control, I can change it. I can take control if I truly believe in myself.
I will write about him as well.
posted by samson at 8:05 PM
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